Where I am now

Everyone wants to be "fit". However, not everyone wants to put in the work. That was my mentality for a solid year. I wanted abs, I wanted to look like girls on Instagram, I wanted to love my Self; but I also wanted the easy way out. I would go out drink, smoke & surround myself around the wrong crowd. I would starve myself almost all day, binge all night, & force myself to throw up thinking it would help me "lose weight". I suffered from binging and bulimia for a solid 8 months. I then realized that all I was doing was hurting myself inside & out. I was gaining more weight than ever before & was very sad. That's when I realized I had to change my life. I didn't look at this as a "diet". I looked at this journey as a life change. I started eating extremely clean Whole Foods. I never tracked macros but just from the way I would eat I knew I wasn't over eating and I was getting the right nutrients my body needed. I lost 30lbs by myself in less than a year. I would go to the gym and do over 45 minutes of cardio and never lifted anything heavy because I was scared of getting "bulky". Although I was happy with where I was at I still wanted more & that's when I began prepping for my first NPC Bikini show. The coach I first had, had me on very low calories and lots of cardio. I lost so much muscle along the process and my body became so sensitive to everything. I placed 1st in the teen division in my first show. I then competed at my second show and placed 2nd in teen and 3rd in open class B. As soon as I hit an off season I started prepping with my new coach @prepbywill. He had me eating around 2100 calories during my off season and helped me get healthy and put on some muscle. He helped me stop worrying about having abs year round & showed me that lifting heavy won't get me bulky. That's when all gears in my head made a switch & shit got real. I put on 16lbs during off season & I knew I put on lots of muscle. That being said, when I began my cut for my next show it was a breeze. My body was reacting so well and my calories have not dropped under 1400 my entire prep. I placed 1st at the Grand Prix & 1st in my class at my first ever National level show (Jr USA's). Im now prepping for my next show (southern states) & then plan on doing another national level show this year to get that pro card!
Now... what does fitness mean to you ?
I used to view fitness as a look. To me being fit used to mean being extremely lean with abs year round. Well I no longer think like that and neither should anyone else. Being that lean is not maintainable. We all have to stop comparing ourselves to people on magazines & the internet. Why ? Because most of the people you see shredded on social media or magazines prep for that specific photoshoot & 3 days later I promise you they don't look that shredded. Being fit to me now means being CONSISTENT. Putting in the work day in and day out and giving your body the fuel it needs to push you through every work out & to make you feel good. I'm not saying you can't enjoy yourself and treat yourself with a burger or some ice cream from time to time but for the most part give your body the nutrients & micros it needs to stay active and healthy. Being healthy inside and out is what being fit should be. Not a "look".